Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Golden Thread

I've visited so many new blogs during the past week or so, mainly thanks to Mel's Commentathon and the Great Cake Day. It was great fun "meeting" new people; sometimes the stories were painful, sometimes uplifting, and sometimes downright heartbreaking.

Later, when I thought back to everything I read, the people and their stories, I realized that Infertility wasn't the main thing binding all of us together. It's the starting point, yes, but it's not what is keeping us in this blogosphere of ours.

HOPE is the golden thread.

Hope is what makes us come back despite our pain. Hope is what motivates us to write about all the obstacles on our road to becoming parents. Hope is what makes us stay, even though our journey has ended in the eyes of the world. Giving hope to those still standing on the platform is what makes us stay if we're lucky enough to have a warm little bundle in our arms.

To all of you with hope in your hearts, no matter how faint a flicker it might be:

"Within your heart, keep one still,
secret spot where dreams may grow."
Louise Driscoll

Mel from Stirrup Queens and Sperm Jester wrote a post about the common thread that binds us all. Don't miss it!

18 comments:

Sarah said...

that's interesting, because i gave up hoping years before i started my blog. but i agree it is what binds us: being hopeful for each other even if we have very little hope for ourselves. when i follow my blogfriends through their cycles, i'm able to believe it just may work for them in a way i couldn't for myself. it makes for such a strong community because when others succeed or fail, we feel it almost as intensely as if it were our own.

furrow said...

Thanks for coming by and leaving the comment that you did. I love this post of yours. Hope is the tie that binds us. "Giving hope to those still standing on the platform" is the best thing that us "lucky" ones can do, if they will have us. Giving hope and giving our support, in whatever form that needs to take, even if it means acknowledging the hopelessness that struggling sisters feel in the process. I try to do that with my blog friends, and I've also recently come across someone in f-t-f life I can try to do that for. I hope it will help, both me and her.

BestLight said...

I had such a love/hate relationship with Hope when I was dealing with IF.

I remember a reinterpretation of Pandora's Box. The last thing remaining after all the evils escaped her box was Hope. That was supposed to be the world's saving grace, right? But in this version, Hope was the most insidious of all. That really resonated for me.

For a long time, I hated Hope. She let me down so many times. Month after month after month.

Our relationship has normalized, though. I love Hope again. Perhaps she had a hand in forming my family after all.

Carole said...

Karen...this is so true. Our hope is what binds us together. And having hope for others I think is what has gotten me through my days so far...otherwise I don't know where I would be.
~Carole

KarenO said...

You all said it so well: bottom line is we have a love-hate relationship with Hope. We hate the coming down part, but the being high on Hope is oh sooooo wonderful!

schatzi said...

Ok, first off... your new header is FAB-U-LOUS! I TOTALLY dig it.

Secondly, I agree, that hope of some kind binds us... whether that is hope of giving birth, hope of adoption, hope that others will win their struggle with IF, or hope that we can come to terms with being childfree.

Thirdly, thanks for my blogwarming gift!:)

KarenO said...

Aaaaah schatzi! Thanks for the compliment! Your new layout is so inspiring I just had to do some redexorating here, even if it was just the header. :)

I totally agree with you on the different kinds of hope. This is why I LOVE comments on posts: we start with an idea, pin it down and post about it. And then all the lovely people come and share their experience on the topic.

I should get a permanent stash of fresh bread and wine and something for the sweet tooth in here - these discussions just begs for great get-togethers! :)

Artblog said...

Love it. I'll copy it when I have a mo.

It was nice meeting you too :)

Jenna said...

Thanks for visitng my blog. I agree that hope, or lack of is the common thread. Hope has kicked so many of us to the curb and scraping ourselve off the pavement becomes a chore that requires help; the help of people like our infertile friends.

Patience said...

You're right - if we didn't have any hope whatsoever we'd probably not be blogging...

It's been lovely to 'meet' you this week!

Sticky Bun said...

You are so right--that's such a good point. Hope is what keeps us together--either hoping for ourselves or trying to keep hope alive for our bloggy friends. Well put!

Mands said...

Thank you for your comment - I will look up the place you suggested. I usually go to a little farm about 7k's out called De Molen.
We did have a little snow at about midnight, but it had melted by the time we woke up in the morning.
Apparently Clarens is a white wonderland, so we missed the action by two days!

sariel & shlomit said...

yeah. that's so true....and also, as carole said, having hope for others is sometimes what gets you through too...thanks for this beautiful post...
peace
shlomit

Brillig said...

This was such a beautiful post, and so accurate. I know that you're speaking on the specific subject of infertility here, but I believe it spans to everything. We've opened up our lives to each other. I've come to care so much about all these people that I don't know in person at all. We watch each other go through things. We're rooting for each other, we're often praying for each other. It's an amazing community that's come together here in cyberlandia.

Foreverhopeful said...

This is my first time here and thanks for your comment on my blog. Sorry I'm a little slow getting to the comments. Its so true, reading other blogs have given me hope and the strength to keep moving forward. There are so many amazing women who've endured so much and yet have remained so beautiful inside. Its helped me get through my own grief in so many ways.. :)

Bean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bean said...

Thanks for visiting my blog the other day. Lovely post here. I agree, no matter how sad or depressed I get, I know if I was really without hope I wouldn't be blogging anymore or visiting other blogs.

The Town Criers said...

This is really beautiful. Even when we don't want to feel hopeful, we end up feeling hopeful. I think you're also pretty amazing to leave comments on every participant's blog.