Thursday, August 2, 2007


Sometimes when you think you're OK, and you feel OK, and everything is going really OK, something happens and you wonder where all the OK's went. Today was such a day, but looking back I think I'm handling it quite, uhm well OK! :)

I was in this really great art shop, putting back some extra organza ribbon I didn't need after all, when the woman with the two teenage girls standing at the handmade paper display called out my name in surprise. It was B, my best friend from back when we were both in college. We haven't seen each other for about 10 years but spoke on the phone a few times since then. It was quite a surprise to see her here in my town. To make a long story short, we couldn't chat long since she had an appointment within the next 15 minutes, so after a quick hello-how-are-you?-you-look-fabulous, we hugged and said goodbye.

I paid for some handmade paper, got into my car and drove home. At the first red traffic light the tears burned my eyes and no amount of blinking could stop them from rolling down my cheeks. Oh how I miss having a beautiful teenage daughter of my own. My child would've turned 12 a month from now...

When I came home I searched in my inbox for the Daily Devotional that spoke to my heart a few days ago. Here it is, and if it speaks to just one of you as much as it did to me again today, this post would've exceeded my expectations far and beyond.

He stood at the window waiting. All day he waited. Three years old and the promise of Grandma and Grandpa arriving consumed him. He could not be distracted to play or to color or to ride his bike. He was waiting.

Sometimes when God's answer seems to take too long we can find ourselves beginning to lose heart. Trust in God can waver. ("Are they REALLY coming, Mommy?") Yet God's Word touches our hearts and He tells us what to do.

"Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord" ( Psalm 27:14).

Sometimes we realize that we are not waiting on the Lord... but we are simply waiting on an answer. Waiting on an answer is so empty. It can consume us to distraction from other things God would have us do or focus on. His Word tells us to be strong, to wait on Him for strength. Wait on Him...not simply on an answer.

Lean on Him to draw courage and strength. Ask Him to point you in the direction of what He wants you to do today...and your waiting will change. It will change from anxious, distracted worry to a more productive waiting. Waiting that says, "I can trust you with this, Lord. Help me to be renewed in my strength and to focus on accomplishing what is in front of me today."

As you wait for God's intervention, what step can you take to turn your eyes to God and not just the answer you are waiting for? Pinpoint what your specific anxiety is. What responsibility is this worry keeping you from? Think of a time in the past when God came through with His answer in your life. Let His track record of yesterday strengthen your faith today.

Ask God to help you pick up the task in front of you and draw strength from Him. Ask Him for courage and a focus on Him while you wait. Ask Him to show you what He would have you do in this time of waiting. How can you be His hands and feet today?**

When is it going to be my turn Lord? Is it ever? Please don't let it be the latter! Whatever you want me to be, please help me live my life to the fullest until then...

**Written by Gail Rodgers


Inconceivable said...

OH this is SOOOO ME ..waiting on an answer and not waiting for God ... wow that spoke to me!! thanks

Lori said...

I can feel the pain from that encounter.

Hugs for you today, {{{{{KarenO}}}}}.

And I think God would find your prayer (please help me live my life to the fullest until then...) very appropriate.

lady macleod said...

oh my dear, I'm so sorry you were upset, but I am glad you found a way to handle it.

O.K. will come again, and I am praying for you to have, YIpeee!

kellynbreesmom said...

thanks for reminding me. I will pray for you.

Zee said...

Thank you so much for this, KarenO. It was so much what I needed today, and it was such a gift.

It also reminds me what the mind/body therapist said to me yesterday. She said that when my mind starts spinning out of control (about what to do, and what not to do, and when will this happen?, and what if it never happens?) I need to remind myself that everything happens in perfected time. That we just do what we can to keep moving forward, but things happen when it's the right time for them. Our job is to keep living fully and joyfully (as much as we can at any given moment) and to be getting ready for the blessings we pray for, when--and in whatever form--they come.

Geohde said...

I always find the 'you look great, haven't seen you in ages, what have you been up to' comments hard. I never know whether to spit it all out, or just shut up.

Mostly I just shut up. Very few people know what happened to our baby, or what went wrong. But the act of covering such a big part of my life up means that I often find it hard to connect. It makes me distant.

I'm sorry that you had such a rough day.

Pamela Jeanne said...

Ah, I wish I could have been there with you so we could have grabbed a cup of coffee or glass of wine and talked about how surreal those types of experiences can be -- another example of just far and deep IF persists. You handled it so well and the Daily Devotional is one I'll set aside for similar encounters and days when I need to be reminded that there is something different out there for me.

P.S. I'm making some nice progress this week away from the office on my book. Would love to send you an early look to get your thoughts later this year. Your support and encouragement has been a great motivator...

Sarah said...

oh wow, there are painful little reminders everywhere sometimes, but that's a big one. your determination to cope in a positive way is impressive.

Changing Expectations said...

I love your post. I often wonder if God is listening to my prayers.

I hope that I have have the strength not to lose heart.

Thank you so much for sharing

KarenO said...

To everyone, thanks for your heartwarming comments and promise of prayers. You are all becoming an integral part of my life - don't know what I did without you during those before-I-started-blogging days! :)

Zee - I agree with you. Everything happens in perfect time, and my patience or lack of it will not rule the earth, ever. Thanks for your thoughts!

Geohde - what you say is soooo true. We are struggling to find the right balance between covering up our hurt and educating the world to inflict less pain through thoughtless remarks. We'll get there some day...

Pamela Jeanne: coffee is good but wine is much better! And YES PLEASE to that offer of an early look!! I can't wait and it is a HUGE honor... WOW thanks!