Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A Little Pink Rosebud

She put the little pink rosebud in my hand, smiled at me and pulled out of the driveway.

Spring was in the air and it was just another ordinary Saturday morning for the rest of the world. It was quiet in the car. My thoughts were fixed on the vial lying snug between my breasts.

It was CD14, the second of our 3 day IUI treatment series. I was trying not to be disappointed that it was my mom driving me to the doctor's office and not J. He and Dad had an early golf game and tee-off time was 5 minutes before the time of my appointment.

"Don't worry, my love. He went with you yesterday, and he'll be there again tomorrow. And you're in his thoughts all the time."

I smiled in answer and blinked away the tears. We're so positive this time: everything has been working out excellently during the cycle so far. So much better than with IUI #1.

She stopped in front of the clinic, turned to me and took my hands.

"I think I am the luckiest woman in the world!"

Ok Mom, I'll wait silently for your explanation before I let out the "Gmph" I'm feeling. Five years of TTC, one miscarriage, more tests than we cared for, one failed IUI, and you're feeling lucky?

"Tell me about one other grandma that is lucky enough to be able to tell her grandchild: 'I was there with your mommy when you were made!'"

I burst out laughing despite the apprehension and stress that was threatening to choke me.

"Mom, that's going to need some serious explanation, and you'll just have me blushing blood red!"

"That's my girl! Now you keep that smile on your face and in your heart. Let's go inside. Cuddle that little rose in your hand all the time, think positive, loving thoughts, and nine months from now you'll have your own little rosebud in your arms."


Well, by now you all know IUI #2 didn't work either, but this wonderful memory has stayed with me ever since. Ten years might have clouded my recollection of the specific words that was spoken, but when I close my eyes and think back, that is what I remember.

My mom has been the most amazing, supportive, understanding and encouraging presence in my life since this IF journey started. She cried with me, she laughed with me, and she just held me when words failed her.

Dankie Mamma, vir alles! Ek's baie lief vir ma...
(Thanks Mom, for everything! I love you very much...)


Sarah said...

what a lovely memory! what a lovely tribute to your mom!

Schatzi said...

Bravo Mamma! She must be an incredible woman. How lucky you are to have been raised and taught by such a loving, thoughtful woman.

Inconceivable said...

Your Mom must feel overjoyed with love

Pamela Jeanne said...

Isn't it amazing how those memories are seared into our mind? I can't tell you what I was doing five days ago, but ask me to describe the smells, sights and sounds of a day where I thought we might achieve conception and I can tell you EVERYTHING. Thanks for sharing one of your profoundly thought-provoking memories.

Char said...

It's so awesome to hear that you have someone who is so supportive and kind and caring... someone who knows exactly the right thing to say at the right time. I saw my mom in your description! Thanks for sharing with us!

furrow said...

That's beautiful. And heartbreaking. I'm glad you have such a lovely mother.

Lori said...

I feel all warm and fuzzy reading about this momma memory.

Kami said...

What a beautiful story. You are incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful mother. I am so sorry she is not well