Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Reach in to Reach out

"In our deepest moments of struggle, frustration, fear, and confusion, we are being called upon to reach in and touch our hearts. Then, we will know what to do, what to say, how to be. What is right is always in our deepest heart of hearts. It is from the deepest part of our hearts that we are capable of reaching out and touching another human being. It is, after all, one heart touching another heart." - Roberta Sage Hamilton

Once again a quote found me when I needed it most.

For the past few months I've really been struggling in frustration, fear and confusion, because I don't know what to do, what to say or how to be.

I thought that if I reached out and helped the people I loved and cared for so that they could cope with their heartaches and sorrows, I'd forget about my own. Maybe I overdid it. The emotionally drained feeling is drowning me. Draining vs. Drowning. If you think about the two words they are quite the opposite of each other. It's the only way I have to explain the desperation I feel when I'm getting anxious when there is absolutely no reason for it.

Reaching in and touching your own heart - just the thought is excruciatingly painful. But if I don't look inside myself and be kind to the person I am deep down in my soul, I can't reach out to other people. I need to do that in order to shift my attention from what's hurting me to what I know makes me happy - being a part of making someone else happy.

By writing this blog I've dealt with a lot of the issues I've buried too deep to work through in the past. I thought I was nearing the end, getting stronger and being able to glide through life without the children I dreamed about, but I still have to learn some lessons it seems.

So... brace yourself my dear heart, you're about to be touched!

7 comments:

Lori said...

You are a very wise and deep woman.

I look forward to anything from you.

Fertilize Me said...

WOW, brava. I am having reading a book right now that is helping me experiene what you are talkin about. you are so so wise

Carole said...

Taking care of our own hearts can be the hardest thing sometimes...but it sounds like you are on a beautiful journey to do it.
~Carole

MLO said...

This is one of the hardest things any of us can do. Women, especially, have been trained to take care of others before ourselves, and to really protect our own hearts can mean putting other's needs second to our own.

Pax,

MLO

sariel & shlomit said...

Growing pains. When do they stop? Thank you for your beautiful post...you're doing great.
peace
shlomit

Bea said...

Wise words.

Bea

Pamela Jeanne said...

There's nothing harder than facing our fears, doubts and demons. Only by addressing them honestly will we have the power to move forward...(at least that's what I keep telling myself). I'm right there with you my friend...