Waiting to Exhale

Yes, I’ve been quiet for a while. School has been very busy, but then I was also occupied with worry that changed into feeling a bit shell-shocked at the moment.

I’ve told you before that my mom had breast cancer 10 years ago, and that it returned in February this year. My sister L had breast cancer 5 years ago when she was 34. To complete the genealogical picture, my maternal grandmother died of breast cancer when she was 54.

The scare we got when my mom’s cancer returned prompted L to ask her oncologist about genetic testing because of the family history. He thought it a good idea, and so the wheels started rolling.

On Tuesday we got the results of my mom’s blood tests. She has the BRCA2 mutation. This means that my two sisters and I each have a 50% chance of having the gene as well. We had our blood drawn for the (very expensive!) blood tests, and so the 2nd part of this waiting game began. Within the next 3 weeks we’ll know if we inherited something we’d rather not have.

No matter how positive I try to be, the reality is very, very scary.

My mom’s cancer will definitely return. Her treatment will determine the time it takes to start out again. L’s cancer might return, all depending on the result of the blood test. W & me are worried that one of us is next in line.

These are the facts: women with the BRCA2 mutation, has an 80% chance of developing breast or ovarian cancer in their lifetime. These women also have an increased risk of developing colon cancer. If you do have the gene mutation, it’s not a given that you’ll get breast cancer, but taking preventative measurements will decrease your risk.

It’s these measures that scares me, even though the choice will be mine in the end. A preventative mastectomy reduces your chances of breast cancer by 90%. Having a salpingo-oophorectomy – the big word for having your ovaries and tubes removed – is another option. And when you have that done, it’s better to have a histerectomy as well since the hormone therapy you have to take because of the lack of ovaries causes heavy bleeding.

The oncologist in charge of our tests said that she strongly recommends that I go for the salpingo-oophorectomy in the light of the fact that I have PCOS, and seeing that I don’t have much use (or planned use!) for my ovaries and uterus. Even if my tests results are negative for BRCA2. So much for having a few more years to decide if I still want to try to have my own children.

All in all I’m OK, no panic rising in my throat, no bad nightmares, just a bit shell-shocked. I know it’s no use being over emotional and worried about it, and losing sleep stressing about the results of the test won’t help either. If it’s positive and my gene at position 12.3 on the long arm of chromosome 13 has a mutation where it’s not supposed to have one, I’ll deal with it as needed.

Until then my ovaries, my uterus and I will have a nice long talk to decide if and when we want to part. But in the small hours of the night I will fervently hope and pray that the decision won’t be taken for me.