Thursday, January 3, 2008

Everything counts

A minute or so ago I was sitting in front of my pc, listening to the soundtrack of the movie "August Rush", looking out the window at the rain dripping from the leaves and trying to stop crying. For the umpteenth time today.

I've been wanting to come and blog, but every time I started the post in my head, it had the "crying" thing in there. So I found a great excuse not to blog with every tear next tear that fell. You guys know I cry a lot. And I know most of you are OK with it. But I don't want to talk about crying in all my posts!

The only problem with my crying is that I very often start out but seldom finish it. I start crying, but I leave the hurt inside. To really do crying the right way you have to let the hurt that caused the crying flow out with the tears. Otherwise you've just wasted a lot of time and energy and you'll wear out your sympathy vouchers way too soon.

Today I did it a bit differently. Normally when I go to the movies, I really don't cry. Not even when we went to see "The Passion of the Christ" - where they had boxes of Kleenex outside the door - did I shed one single tear.

It wasn't even 20 minutes into the movie when the first tear broke over the dam wall. I just gave up trying to hold it back. From there on it just got worse. No Kleenex in sight: I had to get real creative so as not to disturb the people around me.

What movie I saw? August Rush. Yup. Got the soundtrack right away. If you saw it and thought: "Huh? It wasn't THAT good!", don't worry. In the reviews they say you either LOVE it or think it's very mediocre. For those of you that haven't seen it yet, here is the trailer:

This movie touched something in my heart and my being that loosened a river of tears - one I've been struggling to get rid of for some time now. Don't ask me what it was, I'm still working on that.

It was beautiful, a fairy tale of getting lost and being found. Of how music connects us all. Of how nothing is impossible. You just have to listen. And you have to believe.

To get back to the topic of this post. While I was thinking of NOT posting today, the following quote landed in my inbox.

The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.
Countee Cullen

You all know how I feel about quotes, and how they stumble onto your path at just the right moment. This one wasn't an exception.

Everything you do or say counts, everything makes a difference. This year I want to make a positive difference whenever I say or do something. I want people I come into contact with feel warm when they leave. It won't be easy, because I'm not always a bunch of sunshine. But the best I can do is try!

Go watch that movie if you haven't seen it yet. Take along some Kleenex and start believing again.


JJ said...

Wow, I havent even SEEN the movie, and your post has me tearing up--thanks for the push to go see it--Ill be sure to have tissue handy=)

Lori said...

I rarely have a chance to see movies, but thanks to your endorsement, this one is definitely on my list.

I'll sniff with you.

Carole said...

That is awesome. I wanted to see that movie as soon as I saw the preview. Hopefully I'll get to it.

It's so true about letting out the hurt with crying. It's something I have a hard time with.

Thanks for sharing this and yourself.

Pamela Jeanne said...

I find movies can trigger the most unexpected responses -- crying being one of them. A movie, music or a story I read sometimes becomes channel to get in touch with a suppressed emotion that needs addressing. The release can be wholly cathartic can't it?

Stephen W Emerick said...

I have enjoyed reading your words. Thank you for sharing. As I read them I once again felt the pull of both grief and opening to the unknown that such experiences bring. As a psychologist here in the USA this experience is found to be part of the fabric of this life.I wanted to send this poem that says that for me. Thanks again for your words.

Once upon an awakening
By Stephen W Emerick

Once upon an awakening
From a deep and slumbering dream
A door now stood wide open
As I stepped into the stream

Visions set sail before me
As I skimmed along the shore
An ever-receding tree line
Stirring grief within my core

All eyes now to the horizon
As many have done before
The trace-line of the rising sun
Becomes my ships fine-fitted oar

Once upon an awakening
Fed by a deep and rumbling stream
A sail pulled taut then billowed
As I slept into the dream